I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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