I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
