If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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