Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize