he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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