I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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