don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
