You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
