im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
