Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
