i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
