grandma shit on top of the toilet
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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