how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
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Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
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im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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