If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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