Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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