just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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