I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize