you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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