I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
