Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
