The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
