I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just gift wrapped bread.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
