Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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