is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
