I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
