it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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