My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
