I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
