The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
