marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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