It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
