how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
