just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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