My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
