In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
MIDGETS
????
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
