I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
