Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
