Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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