Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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