Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
if only i could text you this smell
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
