I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
