You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
