It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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