Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
