how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
