I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
