sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
