maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
