You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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