dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My bed smells like the plague
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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