i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
