i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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