Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i think my cat just said my name.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
