On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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