Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize