In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
