GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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