Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize