"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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