Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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