i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
